We spent days trying to find someone to tell us what the #$%@ was going on. We found him in Professor John Frink, who now works in Springfield.
Bill Meeks:Hello Prof. Frink. Now, tell us, how do you know so much about Brain?
Frink:: Well, you see, before coming to Springfield, I was a scientist at Acne
Bill Meeks: Acme.
Frink:: Ok, Acme labs. Any-who, I was a lowly assistant on Project Bring the Rodents, All of them In to Sentience, or B.R.A.I.N. I was interested in B.R.A.I.N because I have always dreamed of a day when mice could perform `Monty Python' skits in front of a live audience. But I digress. See, I was on this `James Bond, Jr.' kick at the time, and I had bought a ton of top-secret spy gizmos. One of them was this tiny microphone, the size of a common house fly.
Bill Meeks: Oh,
from the Nerds 'R' Us catalog, right?
Frink:: Yeah, great catalog. Well, I put this little contraption on Subject #2, or Pinky as you know him. Soon after I did this, Acme Labs fired me for killing a dog while trying to train it to ride my hover-bike. I still kept recording `Pinky', and one day I heard the strangest thing: (Editor's Note: To hear the actual recording, click here)
"I am a mouse bent on world domination"
Now, at first I didn't believe that `Pinky', which they had started calling him when I left, could want to rule the world! But, thank god, it was Subject #1, who took the project's name. So, I've been listening to them ever since, and have stepped in a few times to keep him from controlling the world, but I'm not sure I stop them this time.
Bill Meeks: So, how did they invade children's television, and what do they plan to
Frink:: Well, it's common knowledge that just about anyone can get a show on the BBC, so Brain decided to go over there and do it. He shipped himself and Pinky to Acme Labs in England. From there, it was a simple matter to get a camera crew onto the surrounding fields and tape the show. He devised a way to control the minds of the viewers. He put subliminal messages into the video clips of children they show on every show telling people to watch, and to obey Po. Now, the ratings didn't increase like he thought they would, so he started showing the same video clip, 2, sometimes 3 times an episode. Soon, the show was so popular, it came to America. There are rumors that it will be invading Asia & France soon. After every country has the show, Brain, posing as Po will take the world with no opposition.
Bill Meeks: What about the toy line, anything going on there?
Frink:: Uh, umm, yes. The toys will release hypnotic gas into the air once opened. It will cover the area of sixteen TIE-Fighters, or a whole house.
Bill Meeks: Any advice for everybody who haven't been Brain-washed yet?
Frink:: Yes! Stay away from Educational TV at all costs!!!! Keep out of the toy section of all stores!!! Do not let this genetic freak take our world from us!!!!!!!!
Bill Meeks: Thank you, Professor Frink, if anything else comes up, keep me posted.
Frink:: Will Do....
There you have it folks. There is a conspiracy against us. Keep
yourself and your children away from Teletubbies at all cost! Thank you for your time, I
pray this page will help keep this freak of nature from ruling the world.